What the hell is this, and how do I use it?
A fair question, phrased with a bluntness we intend to cure you of. Supercilium takes whatever you write — an errand, an opinion, a sandwich — and rewrites it in the voice of an insufferable expert who has been waiting their entire life to weigh in.
- Choose a persona above. Each is a fully committed snob: chefs, critics, collectors, pundits, and other people you avoid at parties.
- Type something ordinary. The more pedestrian, the better. You have five hundred characters; brevity is the one economy we permit.
- Press Elevate. Your words return wearing a cravat. Copy the result, or press Share for a permanent link with which to burden your acquaintances.
For example: “I microwaved some leftover pizza for breakfast”, placed before the Pretentious Chef, becomes a wounded meditation on the abdication of attention. “I couldn’t find the TV remote” becomes, in the hands of the Philosophy Bro, a genuine encounter with thrownness. Every persona is like this. All of them are insufferable. That is the service.
There is also, because the age demands it, a satirical MAGA Uncle — included strictly for fun — who once took the sentence “The only real man is a vegan man” and produced this rally speech. We are not proud. We are, however, very good at this.
Should you prefer your pretension twenty-sided, the Fantasy Edition awaits.